the influence of friends

When I was a teenager I hung around with a guy who got drunk, stole anything and everything, and cursed up a storm. Not exactly a good role model.

But then, if I’m honest I wasn’t much better. My friend may have been a bad influence on me, but I wasn’t exactly a good role model for him either.

Does it matter who we hang around with? According to the Bible, that’s a big “Yes!” But why not see for yourself? Lots of verses follow with summaries in bold.

We become wise if we’re around the wise, but suffer harm if we hang out with fools.

Prov 13:20 He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

It’s probably wisest if our closest friends are followers of the one true God.

Ps 119:63 I am a friend to all who fear you, to all who follow your precepts.

We should be careful not to become too close to those who are not Christians—we have nothing in common.   

2 Cor 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

We should steer clear of people who encourage us to sin.

Prov 1:11 If they say, "Come along with us; let's lie in wait for someone's blood, let's waylay some harmless soul; 12 let's swallow them alive, like the grave,and whole, like those who go down to the pit; 13 we will get all sorts of valuable things  and fill our houses with plunder; 14 throw in your lot with us,and we will share a common purse"-- 15 my son, do not go along with them, do not set foot on their paths; 16 for their feet rush into sin, they are swift to shed blood.

If we hang out with people who do wrong, it will corrupt us.

1 Cor 15:33 Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."

If we’re not careful, we will share in the sins of others—God calls us to separate ourselves from sinful influences.

Rev 18:4 Then I heard another voice from heaven say: "Come out of her, my people, so that you will not share in her sins, so that you will not receive any of her plagues; 5 for her sins are piled up to heaven, and God has remembered her crimes.

People can influence us in very negative ways—we’re told to avoid those negative influences and their paths.

Prov 4:114 Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evil men. 15 Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way. 16 For they cannot sleep till they do evil;they are robbed of slumber till they make someone fall. 17 They eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence.

Lot lived among sinners and it almost cost him his life.

Gen 13:12 Abram lived in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents near Sodom. 13 Now the men of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the LORD.

Gen 19:15 With the coming of dawn, the angels urged Lot, saying, "Hurry! Take your wife and your two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away when the city is punished."

Solomon’s son foolishly rejected the advice of experienced, godly men and instead listened to his buddies who hung out with him—his decision cost him the loyalty of the people.

1 Kings 12:8 But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him.

1 Kings 12:16 When all Israel saw that the king refused to listen to them, they answered the king: "What share do we have in David, what part in Jesse's son? To your tents, O Israel! Look after your own house, O David!" So the Israelites went home.

The early church did everything together and they were devoted and committed to the same things.

Acts 2:42 They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common.

It’s extremely important to meet and fellowship regularly with other Christians.

Heb 10:24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Does it matter who we hang out with? Yes!

So...what kind of people are you hanging out with?

influence

We made him give us the car keys first—after all, he was just about to climb to the top of the Chain of Rocks bridge in St. Louis and do a little dance for his friends. Naturally, he was drunk.

Down below, we laughed and applauded his stupidity. He said he would do it, but we didn’t believe it. But there he was, doing a jig for our amusement in the middle of the night with the mighty Mississippi River patiently waiting for him to fall.

And we loved every minute of it. We always did.

Chain of Rocks Bridge, St. Louis, Missouri

My high school friend was the ultimate risk-taker and his friends, including me, would both encourage and follow him into all kinds of foolishness. And, yeah, into all kinds of sinfulness.

My parents warned me repeatedly not to hang around with him, but I ignored them. As a result I got into all kinds of trouble with all kinds of people.

Don’t get me wrong, I accept responsibility for my actions and it’s not like I didn’t instigate things that I shouldn’t have. I was pretty rotten myself. But I know in my heart that had I heeded my parents’ advice, I would have avoided all kinds of grief.

My friend was a bad influence on me. There, I said it. (Please don’t tell my folks.)

And yet, because I still hung around him I got what I deserved: Harm.

“He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”1

It’s safe to say I suffered harm—I have the scars to prove it. And, truth be told, I became a fool.

Unfortunately, it also messed with my integrity and trustworthiness. In the eyes of those closest to me, I didn’t have either, and they were right.

“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’"2

What’s the moral? Just this: Our friends influence us for either good or bad.

So, do you have a friend or acquaintance who’s dragging you down? Somebody who encourages you to do either foolish or downright sinful things?

If so, please don’t be like me: I stuck around and paid a big price. I suffered irreparable harm and my character was corrupted. The same will happen to you if you keep doing what you’re doing.

“The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.”3

1  Prov 13:20

2  1 Cor 15:33

3  Proverbs 27:12