oblivious to the obvious

I went for a walk with my dog Charlie this morning and we saw five deer. Well, I saw five deer. Charlie was oblivious to them.

You see, despite being no more than 20 yards or so in front of us, Charlie never saw the does. That’s because he was doing, well, what he always seems to be doing: sniffing the ground like there’s no tomorrow.

Yes, he seemed to smell them once we reached the spot where they had crossed our path, and while it was no doubt a thrill for him, I can’t help wondering if it would have been more exciting had he actually seen the darn things.

Unfortunately, what happened to Charlie sometimes happens to us humans: we miss the obvious because we’re too busy to notice.

Me? I’ve missed the obvious fact that not taking time off has burned me out and contributed to a downward spiral in my mood. Even though I know intellectually it was foolish, I kept doing it. Pushing, pushing and pushing some more. So much to do and so little time. No time to take time off.

Wrong.

What about you? Are you too busy to notice the obvious in your life? What are you missing at home? Work? School? Everywhere else?

Are there warning signs right in front of you, but ones you’re oblivious to? (I know, I know, if we’re oblivious to things then, well, we haven’t seen them and aren’t even aware we’ve missed them.)

But here’s a thought: For the next few days, keep your head up and your eyes and ears open. Who or what needs your attention?

Maybe, just maybe you’ll find that you’re missing something obvious. Just ask Charlie.

day 4: words of wisdom from jethro

Editor’s note: This is the fourth of five articles written during a period of ministry burnout in July 2007.

“What you are doing is not good.”

As I wrestle with the question of, “How in the world did I end up like this?” (burned out), the answer is painfully obvious: I am working too much. Put another way: I am not getting enough rest.

Jethro is right when he tells his son-in-law, Moses, that “what he is “doing is not good…The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone” (Ex 18:17-18). A few verses earlier we find out the Moses is doing his best impersonation of a workaholic, going at it “morning till evening” (v 13).

And here I am, thousands of years later, making the same mistakes by ministering with little or no break. It is a good bet that Jethro would agree that only taking three vacation days in three and a half years of ministry are the actions of a madman. And working seven days a week, month after month will eventually end in a core meltdown.

Like the cliché says, it does not take a brain surgeon to figure this out. For goodness sakes, even Jethro Bodine knows that “What I am doing is not good.”

Oh how I wish I could say with a straight face, “Well, unlike Moses, no one warned me about what would happen.” First and foremost, there is my wife who, bless her heart, has refrained (thus far) from saying, “I told you so.” And there is an elder and good friend who has warned me several times about the dangerous path I have been pursuing.

As a result, the only reasonable defense is stupidity. Of course, one can also muster up the old reliable, “But there’s so much to do and too little time” argument. And let us not overlook perhaps the most overused defense of all: “It won’t happen to me.”

Well, guess what, it did happen to me.

Because of that, it is time to take a cue from the Apostle Paul: “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Phil 3:13-14).

While these verses may be pulled out of context, the application for this 21^st century burnout is to figure out how to solve the problem, not dwell on it. Not surprisingly, this preacher thinks there are three key points. Frankly, each of them is a “Well, duh!” because of how obvious they are.

1.  Focus on priorities

Since preaching and teaching are my primary areas of giftedness, and since that is what the church needs the most, these are the “must-dos.” Any other duties above and beyond these essentials are “nice-to-haves” but cannot be allowed to negatively impact these priorities. “No” will have to become an important new word in my vocabulary.

2. Take time off

That is, use all vacation days allotted and take at least one—and sometimes, gasp, two—days off each week. Moses needed to have his workaholic ways challenged and so does this preacher. Ministry is a marathon, not a sprint, so only those who pace themselves will survive.

3. Educate the elders

The men responsible for oversight of the church need to know about these important decisions. If they are not supportive and in agreement, especially with the above priorities, there may be problems.

How in the world did I end up like this? By working too much and not getting enough rest.

How do I get myself out of this mess? By doing just as my fellow workaholic does, as recorded in Ex 18:24: “Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything he said."


When Jethro speaks, people listen, including this preacher.

day 3: do the math

Editor’s note: This is the third of five articles written during a period of ministry burnout in July 2007.

One million and six. That is how many times I figure I have asked God to take away the thorn in my flesh: migraines. It could be less, but is likely more. One million and six. 

The Apostle Paul was not nearly so persistent; he only asked the Lord for relief of his thorn in the flesh three times (2 Cor 12:8). According to my PC’s calculator, which is rarely wrong, that means I have pleaded with God one million and three more times than my esteemed colleague.

God’s response to Paul is short and sweet: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor 12:9).

Could it be that the Lord has responded in a similar way to my pleadings but it has fallen on deaf ears? Could it be that my persistence in this matter has been a waste of time?

Like a knight searching for the Holy Grail, I have sought relief from six physicians, including three headache specialists. Together, they have prescribed literally dozens of medications in order to somehow justify my deductible and co-pays.

The number of current meds taken is seven. The good news is that seven is God’s number. The bad news is the headaches have not stopped.

Is God’s “grace” “sufficient for” me as it was for the Apostle? Or did Paul sneak off for a physical and an old fashioned blood-letting from his good friend Dr. Luke? 

Not willing to accept responsibility for harassing the Creator of the universe on this topic of migraines, it is time to change the subject and evaluate Paul’s situation as described in 2 Corinthians. It turns out that his “thorn” was provided by none other than Satan (v 8). And why did God allow the Apostle to be tormented by whatever this “thorn” was? “To keep” him “from becoming conceited” (v 7).

Intrigued by the potential positive effects of trouble and hardship brought about by Satan, here are some observations made from other parts of Scripture:

• In 1 Cor 5:5 Paul instructs the Corinthian believers to hand an immoral man “over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.”
• In 1 Tim 1:20, the Apostle says that he has “handed” two men “over to Satan to be taught not to blaspheme.”
• In Job 1:10-12 it appears as if Satan is allowed to mess with Job in order to prove that the latter will not “curse” the Lord when tragedy strikes him and his family.
• In Job 42:5 the result of all of Job’s troubles is a better relationship with God.

Thus, day three of my “vacation” brings seven nagging questions. Here they are, as well as my best effort at answers:

1. “Is God’s grace sufficient for me as it was for Paul?”
Answer: I believe that it is, although I am not convinced that it prevents me from seeking medical help.

2. “Has God already answered my plea for migraine relief after one million and six requests and am I guilty of not listening?"

Answer: After one million and six requests, it appears as if the Lord has no intention of removing headaches from my life. Because of that, my ongoing prayer should probably change to asking for help to persevere vs. taking the headaches away.

3. “Are my headaches due to some kind of satanic attack?”

Answer: I have no idea and have no way of knowing.

4. “Are my headaches meant to keep me from becoming conceited?”

Answer: Perhaps.

5. “Are my headaches meant to destroy my sinful nature?”

Answer: Perhaps, but let’s speed it up, okay?

6. “Are my headaches meant to prove that I will not blame God for my troubles?”

Answer: Perhaps, and praise God that it has not happened yet, nor do I intend to let it happen in the future.

7. “Are my headaches meant to draw me closer to God?”

Answer: Perhaps. While their purpose (if they even have a purpose) is unknown, they do have the effect of driving me to my knees in prayer. And that’s a good thing.

As I reflect on day three and do the math, maybe I do hear the voice of God on this subject: “Somebody call a whambulance because Chris has a headache.”

Translated, it is time to quit whining. 

day 2: lessons from a sugar maple

Editor’s note: This is the second of five articles written during a period of ministry burnout in July 2007.

Day two of my forced vacation begins just like the first. Coffee, a little breakfast, a headache and a long nap to let the migraine medicine kick in.

Around noon, now headache-free, I drive to a nearby park. Since I am an outdoors kind of guy, seeking God’s face and spiritual renewal seems most likely to occur in the midst of nature.

Unfortunately, time-tested spiritual rituals of long walks in the woods and sitting beside a creek reading Scripture are of little value today. Not only does the Spirit of God not descend upon me like a dove, spiders and mosquitoes do. Discouraged, I leave the woods with all its critters and eventually come across a picnic table.

On a whim, I climb on top of the table and lay on my back, staring up at the branches of a nearby sugar maple. Does the sight of a fat, middle-aged man lying on a picnic table look silly? You bet it does. But do I care if someone is watching? Heck no.

“Laugh all you want, pal. I’m depressed and seeking God’s face. Now bug off.”

A tree is a tree, right? Maybe, maybe not. The bark on this sugar maple is as gnarly and scarred as I have ever seen. It is covered with deep gashes and grooves that zigzag back and forth and every which way.

“What a mess,” I think. “What a hard life it must have had.”

It is at that precise moment that God’s Word comes bubbling to the surface: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance” (James 1:2-3).

This sugar maple has obviously faced many trials. Not only does its bark look like a pock-marked battlefield, but there are dead branches everywhere. This thing has led a hard life. It is a miracle it has lasted as long as it has.

Yet despite the trials that it has endured, it is enormous, one of the largest trees in the area. And based on my brief observation, it serves as a refuge for squirrels, birds and locusts. The fact that there are three picnic tables—three—under it is a testament to the abundance of shade that it provides.

In short, despite its difficult past this sugar maple tree has more than survived: It is of great value. Despite its many scars, it has somehow persevered. And maybe, just maybe, it is of more value because of what it has endured over its lifetime.

Could it be that my current trial of headaches and depression, while causing a great deal of pain and suffering now, will make me sturdier for the future? Could it be that something good will come of the scars that are tearing me apart right now?

My prayer for today is a simple one, Lord: I want to be like this tree. I want to pass this test and persevere.

day 1: bird droppings

Editor’s note: This is the first of five articles written during a period of ministry burnout in July 2007.

“Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness.”

That is it. Nothing more, nothing less. “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness.”

And so day one of my week-long vacation begins. Desperately needing rest and spiritual renewal, the backyard is an inviting place to start. Getting reacquainted with my Creator seems more likely in a lawn chair next to a cornfield rather than a Lazy Boy with a remote control within reach.

So here I am in the great outdoors, ready to seek the Lord and find out where oh where has my energy and positive attitude gone? What is the deal with the almost daily headaches? And then there is the depression, the straw that broke the camel’s back. Are the headaches causing the depression or is the depression causing the headaches?

While the amateur doctor in me really wants to know the root cause of these health problems, the bottom line is it does not really matter. Only one thing matters this week, and one thing only: “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness.”

It is surprisingly cool in the shade and everything I need is in the grass at my side: My favorite Bible, a glass of ice, a bottle of water and sunglasses. Oh, and then there is the Sudoku book in case Scripture and the presence of the Lord are not enough.

It becomes clear early on that the theme of day one is that of birds: Just a few minutes into seeking God’s face a bird poops on my arm. Looking up, the culprit is nowhere to be found. When healthy, this dastardly act would spark anger (righteous anger, of course). However, being mentally, physically and spiritually exhausted, the only emotion that comes is amusement.

Determined not to be sidetracked, I wipe the stuff off my arm and begin looking up all the cross references for Matt 6:33, the key verse of the week. While many verses and passages are encouraging, none seem to meet the cry of my heart.

Then bird number two enters the picture: A hawk soars effortlessly overhead, not once flapping its wings. Like a sailboat on a windy day it uses the wind and uses it well. Who needs to flap when God provides all the energy that is needed?

At that moment I instantly know what God wants to communicate to me. Hawks make me think of eagles and eagles make me think of a passage in Isaiah 40.

Isa 40:28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

Isa 40:29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Isa 40:30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;

Isa 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak” (v 29). There it is in a nutshell: I am currently “weary” and “weak” and desperately in need of “strength.” Now, more than ever, my mission is to “hope in the LORD” (v 31).

It is clear that in terms of ministry I need to be more like that hawk. Yes, he flaps his wings in order to become airborne, but once there he relies on the wind that God provides to propel him. By relying on the wind vs. his wing power the hawk can fly for great distances. I, too, want to fly great distances for the Lord in terms of ministry.

Perhaps I have been guilty of doing too much flapping and not enough soaring. Maybe that is why I find myself in this position of weariness and weakness. Maybe that is why I am in such urgent need of spiritual renewal.

While reflecting on this insight, I am reminded of my three areas of God’s giftedness: Preaching, teaching and writing. In order to soar more and flap less, it is important to focus primarily on these areas at the expense of others. While ministry in a small church like mine requires a diverse skill set, using one’s spiritual gifts is of utmost importance.

But then there is the challenge of flapping less and soaring more when doing these three activities. How, exactly, does that work? While it almost certainly means more quiet time with the Lord vs. sitting in front of a computer screen, does it not also logically mean that less ministry is done? Could it be that while quantity may suffer quality and effectiveness actually goes up? Is that what it means to soar like a hawk in ministry?

In addition to much-needed strengthening, there is also much to learn over the next several days. The key to success in both areas is the same as before: “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness."

Fornately, the rest of the verse goes like this: "And all these things will be given to you as well.”