bitterness

“Asa's heart was fully committed [to the LORD] all his life.”1

Old Testament Judah’s king sounds like quite the guy, doesn’t he? Yet, something goes terribly wrong late in his life.

He goes to war without consulting God and pays a big price for it. The Lord then tells Asa through a prophet that because of his monumental oversight he will be now be at war continuously, presumably for the rest of his life.2

Tragically, the king doesn’t react well to the Lord’s rebuke.

“Asa was angry with the seer because of this; he was so enraged that he put him in prison. At the same time Asa brutally oppressed some of the people.”3

Then we read this:

“In the thirty-ninth year of his reign Asa was afflicted with a disease in his feet. Though his disease was severe, even in his illness he did not seek help from the LORD, but only from the physicians.”4

A little bitter, are we?

So, how does someone who’s described as “fully committed to the Lord” turn out so messed up? Apparently, a rebuke from the Lord can do the trick. And, based on my personal ministry experience, things like health, financial and relationship problems can also trigger divine finger-pointing and a sinful attitude.

Even mature, well-grounded Christians have the option to turn on God vs. turning to Him when things get tough. Tragically, some—even “fully committed” ones—choose the former.

How about you? Does bitterness have a foothold in your otherwise impeccable spiritual life?

·         Are you angry at God because He’s disciplined or rebuked you?

·         Are you angry at God because of a health, relationship or financial problem?

·         Are you angry at God because your life stinks?

If you find yourself getting a little defensive right now, I encourage you to figure out why. Could it be that you harbor some underlying resentment towards God? Could it be that you have some unresolved issues, something that’s interfering with your relationship with your heavenly Father?

If so, here’s my advice: Deal with it. As in now.

Here are three things you need to know:

1.      God is not your enemy. On the contrary, He loves you and is your biggest ally.

2.      The Lord knows what He’s doing. Granted, in His sovereignty God allowed whatever’s happened to occur, but He’s the Creator of the universe and knows what He’s doing. Believe it.

3.      The Lord can take the tragedies and painful moments of life and use them for your ultimate good. Yep, that’s right, it even includes whatever has happened to you.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”5

Do you really want to be like King Asa? He got angry at God and was bitter until the day he died.

I say again: Do you really want to be like Asa, angry and bitter? I didn’t think so.

Then why not make peace with your heavenly Father today? Why not start by telling Him what you’re feeling, and that you don’t want to stay mad at Him. And that you don’t want to stay bitter.

If that’s as far as you can get today, so be it. And don’t expect your strong feelings to just magically go away. My hunch is it will take time.

But here’s your homework. Read the verse below again. And again. And again, until it’s in your very soul. That’s God’s promise to you, and you can count on it.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

1  2 Chronicles 15:17

2  2 Chronicles 16:9

3  2 Chronicles 16:10

4  2 Chronicles 16:12

5  Romans 8:28

bless your pastor in just minutes!

Want to do something nice for your pastor that will only take a few minutes of your time?

If so, pray the verses below for him right now. Just insert your pastor’s name in the blanks.

Come on, you were going to read this anyway, right? So why not take what’s written and turn it into a prayer instead?

Go for it!

For his walk with the Lord

May the words of ___________’s mouth and the meditation of his heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.1

For his ministry

Whenever _______________ opens his mouth may words may be given him so that he will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel. May he declare it fearlessly, as he should.2

If he’s a husband

May ___________ love his wife, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. May he also love his wife as his own body.3  

If he’s a father

May _____________  not exasperate his children; instead, may he bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.4

Congratulations—you’ve just blessed your pastor!

But you’re not finished, yet. Why not take another few minutes and write him a quick note to let him know you’ve prayed for him? And don’t forget to mention which verses you used. It doesn’t have to be on fancy stationary or a card, just a brief note on whatever you have around the house. It’s the message that counts, not the “packaging.”

Take it from me, letting your pastor know what you’ve done will make his day in a big way.

Go ahead. Make his day. I dare you.

1  Psalm 19:14

2  Ephesians 6:19-20

3  Ephesians 5:25, 28

4  Ephesians 6:4

regrets

Peeking through the blinds in the living room, he insisted the mafia was watching him.

That’s when I first knew something was wrong with my brother, Ken. It wasn’t long after that when he was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic.

Things were never the same as hallucinations, voices in his head and general paranoia became a part of daily life. Treatment included hospitalizations, group homes and, of course, lots of medication. Since there wasn’t—and still isn’t—a cure for this devastating mental illness, his quality of life wasn’t much to speak of.

While Ken struggled in ways that I cannot imagine, the whole family did as well. My parents carried the load, of course, a load that no parent should ever have to carry.

As for me, I didn’t deal with it very well. The brother who shared a bunk bed with me for so many years was, for all practical purposes, gone. Having a coherent and meaningful conversation with him became impossible, and so the secrets we had shared over the years became my secrets and mine alone. If Ken remembered them or treasured them he never let on. Or couldn’t let on.

Over time I distanced myself from him, a decision I would live to regret when he died in his early 30s from a heart attack.  

Filled with guilt at abandoning my brother when he needed me most, I shared my story several times—complete with regrets—with families and friends of other schizophrenics. Each time I would tearfully plead with them not to distance themselves from their loved ones, to remain by their side no matter how difficult it may be.

My regrets also compelled me to pour my life into a high school friend who got leukemia. I visited him almost every day after work for several months and was there at his side when he died. I can picture his face to this day.

Why am I sharing this with you? Because I’ve learned a few things about regrets that I’d like to pass on. They may be painfully obvious to you, but, unfortunately, I had to learn them the hard way.

First the obvious: Regrets never go away. While time has lessened the pain of how I treated my brother after he got sick, I’m convinced it will never fully go away. It stinks, but that’s the way it is.

But there is an upside to regrets. If we let them, they can fuel necessary life change. I’d like to think that at least one family member stuck by their schizophrenic loved one rather than pull away. And I’d like to think I was a comfort to my friend as he slowly succumbed to leukemia.

Maybe, just maybe, God took my regrets and did something useful with them. Maybe, just maybe, it was a Romans 8:28 thing:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”1

It’s obviously better not to have regrets, so if there’s something you need to do that you’re not doing, please correct the situation right now. As in, stop reading and do it.

Now.

But if you already have regrets, please let God turn it into a positive. Please allow the Lord to channel your painful memories into something good, for both you and others.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.”

That includes your regrets.

1  Rom 8:28