i'm number one...not

"It's not about you.”

Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life

The words hit me like a ton of bricks this morning, especially after my wife told me yesterday that what I was contemplating doing was selfish.

My wife and Warren are right: It’s not about me.

And yet…I still want to do what I want to do. Can’t get away from it. And if it’s selfish, well, I’ll just say “Sorry” up front and then go ahead and do my thing.

That’s because I’m obsessed with me. Despite what I might say or do, deep down I believe the universe revolves around me. Or, at the very least, it should.

·         Whose needs am I most concerned about? Mine.

·         Whose feelings am I most concerned with? Mine.

·         Who am I most concerned about pleasing? Me.

“Me, me, me.” The fact is I’m pathetic and consistently self-absorbed. Even now, as I’m writing these words I’m thinking, “Well, so what? Is that a problem?”

Yes, Scripture tells me, it is a problem. You see, the proper worldview is it’s all about the Lord, not me or anybody or anything else.

Need some convincing? Okay. How about starting with the first verse in the Bible?

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”1

Simple question: Who is more important, God or me?

And then there’s one of the most humbling verses in all of Scripture.

“I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me.”2

Simple question repeated: “Who is more important, God or me?

The inescapable answer is the Lord is infinitely more important than me. By a lot. By a whole lot.

And at the risk of piling on, not only is it all about God (and not me), there are many others who are more important than me. Not only am I not second to God in terms of importance, I’m called to be dead last on the list.

Read it and weep.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.3

Yeah, that’s right: Each of us is to consider “others better than” ourselves.” Like pouring salt on an open wound, isn’t it?

So what do we do? How do we keep ourselves off the throne, and serve and look out for the needs of everybody else? I mean, come on, this doesn’t come naturally. At least it doesn’t for me.

It seems to me this is a life-long pursuit, one which none of us ever fully attain. Try as we might, keeping God as priority number one and considering everyone else better than ourselves is difficult to pull off, at least consistently.

Can I make a suggestion? Instead of getting overwhelmed with this concept, why not start simple?

First of all, stop what you’re doing, bow your head and tell God—and mean it—that He’s the most important person in the universe. Bar none. And you’re sorry you don’t always think and behave as if that’s true.

Second, choose a person in your life and do something completely unexpected and kind for them.  How can you serve the person?

Here are a few suggestions, in no certain order:

·         Make her a cup of coffee.

·         Give him a ride somewhere.

·         Watch what she wants to watch instead of what you want to watch.

·         Listen to him talk, even if it’s boring or you’ve heard it a million times.

·         Thank her for something specific.

·         Tell her she looks nice.

You get the idea. And why should we do this? To get our eyes off of ourselves.

Repeat after me: “It’s not about you.”

1  Genesis 1:1

2  Isaiah 46:9

3  Philippians 2:3

love

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”1

It was the best Christmas ever—my family was amazed and felt loved as never before due to my lavish gift-giving. It was also the worst Christmas ever—they discovered I had stolen money from them in order to afford such nice things.

Yeah, that’s right, I stole money from family members so I could buy them some really cool stuff. Made sense to me at the time. Was I generous? Kind of depends on how you look at it. 

One thing seems certain, however: As a teenager I was a lowlife and a thief.

That memory still makes me cringe. I mean, not only is stealing wrong, but stealing from family? I’d be willing to bet that most thieves wouldn’t think about robbing those they love. Others, sure. But family, no way.

Common sense tells us we shouldn’t steal, and especially from family. Not surprisingly, Scripture also tells us we shouldn’t steal from each other. We are, of course, called to love one another, family and non-family.

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”2

The Greek word translated as “love” has nothing to do with emotions or feelings. Instead, the word is a verb. That is, we are to consciously and deliberately love one another. We are to consciously and deliberately express our love for others in practical and concrete ways.

For example, it’s not good enough not to steal from them. We’re called, as children of God, to meet the needs of others and consider them more important than us.3 And that includes both family and total strangers. That’s biblical love.

So, does that describe you? Would family describe you as loving? More than that, would total strangers describe you as loving? Remember, the kind of love we’re talking about has nothing to do with emotions or feelings. This kind of love is consciously and deliberately expressing our love for others in practical and concrete ways.

Again, does this describe you? Me neither.

Let’s agree—just between the two of us—that we don’t pull this off, at least as consistently as we should. I have some ideas on what I’m going to do, but how about you?

And remember, it’s not good enough not to steal from them. We’re called, as children of God, to meet the needs of others and consider them more important than us. And that includes both family and total strangers. That’s biblical love.

“If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.”4

1  Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

2  1 John 4:7-8

3  Matthew 22:39 & Philippians 2:3

4  1 John 4:20-21