ode to bob

I was so scared. I knew it was God’s will, but that didn’t make it any easier.

Seven years ago last week, at the age of 49, I moved from the St. Louis area and re-settled in Indianapolis to enter full-time ministry. Meanwhile, my wife and three kids were back in Missouri, finishing out the school year and constantly showing the house to potential buyers.

We were apart for six months, something I will never—ever—do again. 

It would have been so helpful to have them around as I was adjusting to a brand new life. Literally everything was new to me: The responsibilities, the city, the church and the people.

Learning what it meant to be a full-time preacher and people’s names at church was intimidating enough, but the other stuff—the personal stuff—added enormously to my anxiety. Things like where to live, how to get from here to there, where to bank and where to find a trustworthy auto mechanic made my head hurt.

Thinking back to those early days still makes me cringe a little, wondering how a guy so set in his ways was able to make the transition.

The credit, of course, ultimately goes to the Lord. Without His sustaining grace I really don’t think I would have survived intact. And my wife Paula was a rock the whole time, holding down the fort back in St. Louis while I was busy changing careers in a different city. She was absolutely amazing.

But there was another factor in my making it through: The Bobmeister.

Without Bob, my roommate of so many months, there wouldn’t have been somebody there when I got home, nobody to talk to, nobody to hang with and nobody to complain to.

And, of course, nobody to sit on my lap.

Photo by Eric M. Little

Before you start wondering about my sexual orientation, Bob’s my cat. More than that, Bob’s my main man.

It was during those six months that he and I bonded like never before. I mean, we’re buds. To this day, he follows me around at home like a faithful dog and is intensely jealous whenever Paula sits next to me on the couch. (After those six months of exclusivity, he still has problems sharing me with others.)

Why do I bring this all up? To emphasize, yet again, the importance of having a friend, somebody you can count on. For six months Bob was pretty much it. Not nearly as good as a human friend, to be sure, but he did the best he could.

And so I pay tribute to the Bobmeister here today. Thanks, Bob. Too bad you can’t read, bud.

What about you? Do you have a buddy? Somebody you can talk to, confide in, complain to and hang with? It could be a pet, but a real life human being’s even better. In fact, much better.

If you have a buddy, why not stop and praise God for him or her right now?

If you don’t, I suggest you start praying for one and acting like a friend toward others. That’s a potent combination I believe the Lord will eventually honor.

And why should you go to so much trouble? Because we all need a Bob in our lives.

“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”1

1  John 15:13

hope

As soon as I got the message I called the hospital to talk with him. Chest pains are nothing to sneeze at.

Me: “How are you feeling?”

Him: “With my hands.”

Oh how I wish I could have that kind of sense of humor at such a difficult time. While I’ve been told I have a good sense of humor, I’m painfully aware of its tendency to go AWOL at particularly dark times.

It’s during those times that I have to diligently guard against throwing a temper tantrum and yelling for my mommy.

Being an adult, hundreds of miles from my mum, and possessing an intense desire to be masculine, I choose instead to seek help in the form of hope.

Without hope, there’s nothing.

Feeling the urge to yell “Mommy!” this afternoon, I used my Bible software to find hope. Found out the word is used 165 times in the NIV, and since I’m partial to Psalms, I was especially interested in what was there.

I found this:

“I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.”1

I like this verse. Very much.

God’s “word”—the Bible—is full of hope. There’s hope for the sinner and for the sufferer. And I’m both.

So are you, my friend. Like me, you’ve sinned. And like me, you’ve suffered. Our experiences may be vastly different, but we’re both doing the best we can here on this planet filled with temptations and pain.

So what’s weighing on you today? Whatever it is, know this: God’s “word”—the Bible—is full of hope. Because of that, I encourage you to bow your head right now, ask the Lord for a healthy dose of hope, and then open the book and see what you can find.

It’s there. Trust me.

“I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.”

1  Psalm 130:5

the lesson from the hawk

I saw it just as it saw me. A real live hawk, just a few feet away in the corn field.

I froze in my tracks and just stared, admiring how beautiful and magnificent it was. But something didn’t seem right. I heard chirping, but it didn’t sound like what I imagined a hawk would generate.

It puzzled me for several seconds but then, suddenly, I understood.

A small bird—probably a sparrow—emerged from the brush and flew by in rush, with the hawk right behind it. The two of them got tangled in a bush on the other side of the road and the sparrow flew away, with the hawk staying behind.

Once again I stared at the hawk, now sitting atop a branch. Maybe it was my imagination, but it seemed to give me a look of disgust and then flew away.

It was then that I made a guess at what had just happened: The hawk apparently had the sparrow in its talons, a right tasty meal. But then I came along, and as the hawk worried about what I would do the sparrow wiggled free.

I had cost the hawk a meal. On the other hand I had saved the life of the sparrow.

Perhaps trying to make myself feel better, I focused more on the latter than the former. Because I had just happened along at that very moment, the sparrow escaped to live another day.

I couldn’t help but think of a verse from the Old Testament, one that we all need to read and heed:

“Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”1

The gist of that verse is an admonition for us to use our time wisely. While doing so is wise, we appear to gain even more wisdom when we do.

Another way of saying that is to recognize that we only have a limited time here on earth so we better make the best of it. For instance, those of us who live in the United States have an average life span of 78.24 years.2 Women, of course, typically live longer than men.

That means as a fat, middle-aged man, I have just 22 more years to go, if I’m lucky. And who knows what the quality of life will be down the road?  It might just stink.

On the other hand, I might get hit by a bus later today. Who knows?

Because of that I need to use every minute of every day wisely, and as I do I’ll gain wisdom.

As I’ve contemplated that principle, it occurs to me how much time I waste in an average day. I spend an inordinate amount of time on myself. As you might imagine, that’s very convicting for a pastor, someone who’s supposed to be totally sold out to the Lord.

What changes am I going to make? I’m not sure at this point, since I’m still “soaking the beans.”

But some changes will probably come pretty quickly. You see, I witnessed the whole hawk and sparrow thing yesterday. And today I found a dead sparrow in the middle of the street, right where yesterday’s drama took place.

Is this sparrow the same as yesterday’s? Who knows?

But God made His point loud and clear: Make some changes, preacher boy. Make some changes.

“Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

1  Psalm 90:12

2  The World Factbook, Central Intelligence Agency, https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2102rank.html

reunited--at last

He was one of the funniest and most charming people I have ever met. And it wasn’t just me—everybody seemed to love him and thought of him as the life of the party.

Yet, being good friends, he confided in me several times how desperately unhappy he really was. More than once he said that was the reason he was always cracking jokes and being a clown of sorts: He was covering up how sad he felt inside.

Specifically, if he didn’t laugh, he’d cry. So he aggressively pursued the former so he wouldn’t experience the latter.

His sadness ended when he died some years ago, joining his beloved wife who had died many years prior. You see, the reason he was so unhappy all the time was because he missed the love of his life.

The woman who had captured his heart and soul and never let go. His best friend. His companion. His…everything. Once she was gone, he was never complete again. Not even close.

I’ve thought of my friend many times recently and what it must have been like for him all those years. Day after day, week after week, year after year, and decade after decade of unrelenting pain and sorrow.

The thought of his pain grieves me to the very bone. How did he make it all that time? What was it like to spend virtually every waking moment thinking of the woman of his dreams, the one—and only—person who could make him happy and fulfilled?

Why do I bring all of this up? Because I’m in awe of my friend’s perseverance. And while I miss him dearly, I’m so glad he was finally reunited with the woman who had so captured his heart.

While I certainly don’t want to diminish the excitement and joy of seeing his Lord and Savior in person, I can’t help wondering what their reunion was like.

Did she run and jump into his arms? Have they ever stopped hugging? Have they ever stopped smiling? Have they ever stopped praising God?

What was it like to finally—finally—be reunited with the love of his life?

I wonder.

“May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance.”1

1  2 Thessalonians 3:5

regrets

Have you ever wanted a do-over? You know, a second chance to get it right?

Me too.

Who among us hasn’t missed a deadline, said or done the wrong thing in a relationship, blew a key moment in a sports activity, or forgot to study for a big test?

Who among us doesn’t wish we had said something, wish we hadn’t said something, or wish we had said something different?

Who among us doesn’t wish we had done something, wish we hadn’t done something, or wish we had done something different?

I’ve been reflecting a lot on a monumental mistake in my life from many years ago that, had I handled it differently, would have dramatically altered the course of my life.

Unfortunately, deep regrets and pleadings with God do not a do-over make. History is history.

The cold hard truth is that in real life there are very few do-overs. While the boss may extend the deadline, we may get another at-bat, and the teacher may reschedule the test, most of the time we only get one shot at it.

Which makes it so important to get it right the first time around.

While our temptation might be to focus on lamenting blown opportunities from our past, doing so will not change the facts. Not one iota. Believe me, I’ve tried.

So what do we do?

Seems to me there are three options:

1.      Beat yourself up until you’re black and blue (this is where I am).

2.      Try and correct and/or help the situation (obviously not possible in many instances).

3.      Shrug it off since you can’t change the past.

So, where are you sitting? If you’re on one, like me, well, it’s not a great place to be, is it? Not very productive either. Would advise you to move on to two or three. (In other words, do as I say, not as I do.)

I know, I know, a divine do-over would solve all our problems. But, alas, it’s probably not going to happen.

What happened, happened.

What didn’t happen, didn’t happen.

History is history.

Deal with it (that means you, Chris).

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,
I press on toward the goal.”1

1  Philippians 3:13-14

squirrel!

I looked up to see it on a branch just above my head. We stared at one another for the longest time, but the squirrel finally decided to move on and brushed some snow into my face.

I laughed until it happened again and again and again. Each time it happened the squirrel would re-position itself on a new branch, look down to see me still staring at it, and then brush some snow my way.

Maybe I’m crazy, but I think it did it on purpose. I kept watching as it crawled up the side of the tree and then it occurred to me: Hey, if this thing’s smart enough to brush snow on me, maybe it’s smart enough to, well, you know, drop something else on me. All I could see was its backside. So I quickly backed away from the tree and moved on.

A short walk down the path I came across several other squirrels playing in a big tree. And, once again, found myself in a staring contest. This time, though, we were just a few feet apart and literally eye-to-eye.

"Squirrel!"

It looked so cute staring back at me, that is until I sensed it was going to leap onto my face. Ever seen the squirrel scene in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation? If so, you know the kind of fear I’m talking about.

At that moment I changed my mind about squirrels: They aren’t cute, they’re disease-ridden rats with fluffy tails.

What’s the point of all this squirrel stuff?  Just this: I enjoyed my walk in the park today. That’s a big deal because it’s been a long time since I’ve enjoyed myself so much.

The wind was cold but still welcome, and the snow deep but really beautiful. For the first time in weeks I appreciated every little thing nature could offer. And yes, even the human-hating squirrels.

The Lord knew I was yearning to enjoy the simple things in life, and He came through in a big way.

What about you? Are you enjoying the simple things in life or is stress, depression and discouragement controlling your mood?

As I’ve discovered firsthand, sometimes there’s not much we can do to improve our situations. We can pray and try our best to improve our lot, but sometimes things just have to run their course. It stinks, but welcome to life here on earth.

If that describes you, I pray the Lord gives you the grace to ride out the storm.

On the other hand, sometimes we just need to slow down and make a more concerted effort to squeeze the joy out of our circumstances.

Have you tried that? Have you stopped to meditate on your blessings? Have you tried breaking out of your routine? Have you tried doing things that typically bring you joy?

Maybe, just maybe, the Lord will give you the same gift that He gave me today: The gift of enjoying the simple and routine things in life. The gift of joy.

“Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him-for this is his lot. Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work-this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.”1

Heavenly Father, I pray that you give the gift of joy and satisfaction to those who read this blog entry. Please enable them to accept their lot in life and be happy in their work. Show us your glory by occupying them with gladness of heart all the days of their lives.

I pray this in Jesus’ name, amen.

1  Ecclesiastes 5:18-20

poor at helping the poor

This week I’ve had two doctor appointments and a dental appointment. I’ve also eaten quite well. Oh, and I’ve slept in a nice warm bed each and every night.

On the other hand, I’ve talked with people this week who have significant health problems but can’t afford to go to a doctor. I’ve also talked with several persons who have little or nothing to eat and rely heavily on food pantries and handouts. And then there are those who sleep on hardwood floors in a roach-infested apartment.

Is this really America? Is this really the land of opportunity? Is this really the good life here in the United States?

Who needs to go overseas to help people in poverty? It’s right here in our own backyard.

I wonder, however, whether we—that is, the church—really notice. More than that, I wonder if we really care.

Oh sure, we talk a good game and preach convicting sermons on helping the poor and downtrodden, but do we actually do anything to help? Really help? Or is it all lip service?

I’ve ashamed to say that in my case it’s been mostly lip service, at least until recently. I’m not sure why, but for some reason the Lord has opened my eyes to just how desperate people are in my community and this country.

·         I dare you to open your eyes and see the people who don’t have enough food to eat.

·         I dare you to open your eyes and see the people who are living in utterly miserable surroundings.

·         I dare you to open your eyes and see the people who are ill but can’t afford to go to a doctor.

Where are they? I’m convinced they’re all around us, but we tend to overlook them or ignore them. In some cases they work with us, commute with us, eat with us and play with us.

Sometimes they’re obvious, but sometimes they blend in, too embarrassed to admit they’re struggling.

To my shame, I’ve become an expert at overlooking them or ignoring them. Maybe you have too. But it’s never too late to make a difference, and that’s why I intend to personally do a better job in this area.

What about you?

“If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered.”1

“The righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.”2

I dare you to open your eyes to the needs of people. I double dare you.

1  Proverbs 21:13

2  Proverbs 29:7

get in line, chris

My heart is heavy today for so many people.

Death, illness, relationship problems and financial struggles have put a damper on my day. There are so many people who are hurting in my world that it makes me hurt as well.

I find it ironic—and a bit pathetic—that I started the day feeling sorry for myself. Yet my problems now seem insignificant in comparison. Which reminds me of a lesson I learned many years ago and must continuously re-learn: There is almost always someone who is worse off than me.

Does that make me feel better? No. But it does help put things in perspective.

What about you? What’s bugging you today? Why are you down in the dumps?

My hunch is it hurts. A lot. And for that I’m sorry. Very sorry.

Yet—and please don’t curse my name or throw something heavy in my direction—is it possible there are others who are struggling more? In more pain? In worst circumstances?

That doesn’t diminish what you’re going through, no way. What you’re experiencing right now no doubt stinks and that’s a nice way of putting it. I get it. Things are hard and you’re at the end of your rope.

But as I was reminded so vividly today, I’m not the only one who’s hurting. In fact, as I think about the problems of so many people that I know, my problems don't seem so bad.

In fact, even though I’m not feeling so hot right now (that’s putting it mildly), somebody needs my help so I have to get going.

I’m not glad that others have problems, but I am glad for the opportunity to help. And to get my mind off my own problems.

Lest you think I’m some kind of spiritual giant or super Christian, think again. I’m just a regular guy who had to re-learn a lesson yet again. Will I ever learn that there are others who are in worse pain than me?

Probably not. Tomorrow I’ll no doubt be right back at it, obsessing on my many problems at the neglect of others.

But for today, right now, I’ve got to go. Somebody needs me.

                                                                                                           

worth fighting for

I had to right a wrong today on my part, so I called someone and asked a very pertinent question: “Do you still care for so and so?

"Yes.”

Then I asked a follow-up question: “And does so and so still care for you?”

"Yes.”

Then I stopped asking questions and said this: “Then I suggest you fight to keep the relationship going—it’s too valuable to give up on it.”

Why did I do that? Because my previous advice had danced around the topic of whether there were still any feelings for the other person. As a result, the dissolution of their relationship (not a marriage) seemed to be a foregone conclusion and we focused primarily on how to move on.

Today, however, I’ve done a 180. Relationships are too valuable to give up on them. If we care about someone else—I mean, really care—then we have to keep trying to maintain it.

We have to.

Am I naïve? Maybe. But life’s too short to just walk away from someone you care about without giving the thing one last try.

Are there problems and challenges in the situation above? Yes. Are they insurmountable? Maybe. But I believe they need to keep trying, at least one more time. So I made the call and cleared my conscience.

In fact, I feel so strongly about this I truly wish we were in the same room right now so you could see and hear the urgency in my face and voice. As it is, I’ll have to shout it from the rooftops.

Do you care for someone? Really care for someone? Then why in the world would you want to give that up? Why in the world would you not do everything in your power to keep it going?

Will your efforts succeed? Maybe. Maybe not. But at least you tried. At least you tried to salvage one of life’s most precious gifts: A special bond between two people.

Trust me, that kind of bond doesn’t come along very often. At least it doesn't for me.

So, how does all of this apply to you? Frankly, there may be no application for you whatsoever. But hey, I just couldn’t wait to share this new insight with someone, one that's changed how I look at things.

That said, I’ll let you get back to whatever you were doing before I got on my soapbox. Besides, I’ve got some more phone calls to make—have to ask some people a few questions…

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”1

1  1 Corinthians 13:4

wanted: people to be used by god

He walked in not knowing what he would find, but certain God had led him here.

You see, after much prayer the night before the Lord had impressed upon him to go to the church up the street, the church where I’m a pastor. Despite being disabled, not having a car, and braving a cold winter wind, he walked several blocks this morning to see and hear what God wanted him to see and hear.

All he knew was that he needed something for the heart. That’s what God had communicated to him through Scripture and prayer: Go to that church to hear something about the heart.

So, guess what the title of my sermon was today? “Guard your heart.”

Hearing his story after the service brought tears to my eyes, knowing, like him, that the Lord had led him to this church to hear this particular sermon.

I wish I could share the rest of his story with you, but it’s too personal, too tragic and too fresh. Besides, I don’t want to betray my new friend’s confidence. Suffice to say he was a broken man who needed what he received: A Scriptural message, someone to listen to his heart-breaking story, and someone to pray with him.

Why do I share this story with you? For two reasons: First of all, to remind us that God is real, actively involved in people’s lives and loves us.

If you think God is oblivious to your circumstances, think again. He’s not only aware but is actively helping you, sometimes behind the scenes and sometimes in more obvious ways, such as what happened with this man.

I also wanted to share this story to remind us that God can use anybody, and I do mean anybody. Those of you who really know me are painfully aware that I’m a complete idiot, a knucklehead of the worst kind, and a first-class sinner.

And yet, the Lord decided to steer a desperately depressed and broken-hearted man my way. What in the world was He thinking?

Because I’m such an idiot, and because what God did this morning is an undeniable fact, I’ve concluded the Creator of the universe can apparently use anyone who 1) has a pulse, 2) loves His Son Jesus, and 3) makes himself or herself available.

If you’re like me, meeting the first two criteria is relatively easy, but the last one, well, that’s a lot harder. Am I right? And yet, if the Lord can use a knucklehead like me, imagine what He can do with you?!

So, what’s the point of all this? Be amazed, be inspired, and be encouraged, but most of all be available.

“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’"1

1  Isaiah 6:8