Thursday, May 19, 2011

day 3: do the math

Editor’s note: This is the third of five articles written during a period of ministry burnout in July 2007.

One million and six. That is how many times I figure I have asked God to take away the thorn in my flesh: migraines. It could be less, but is likely more. One million and six. 

The Apostle Paul was not nearly so persistent; he only asked the Lord for relief of his thorn in the flesh three times (2 Cor 12:8). According to my PC’s calculator, which is rarely wrong, that means I have pleaded with God one million and three more times than my esteemed colleague.

God’s response to Paul is short and sweet: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor 12:9).

Could it be that the Lord has responded in a similar way to my pleadings but it has fallen on deaf ears? Could it be that my persistence in this matter has been a waste of time?

Like a knight searching for the Holy Grail, I have sought relief from six physicians, including three headache specialists. Together, they have prescribed literally dozens of medications in order to somehow justify my deductible and co-pays.

The number of current meds taken is seven. The good news is that seven is God’s number. The bad news is the headaches have not stopped.

Is God’s “grace” “sufficient for” me as it was for the Apostle? Or did Paul sneak off for a physical and an old fashioned blood-letting from his good friend Dr. Luke? 

Not willing to accept responsibility for harassing the Creator of the universe on this topic of migraines, it is time to change the subject and evaluate Paul’s situation as described in 2 Corinthians. It turns out that his “thorn” was provided by none other than Satan (v 8). And why did God allow the Apostle to be tormented by whatever this “thorn” was? “To keep” him “from becoming conceited” (v 7).

Intrigued by the potential positive effects of trouble and hardship brought about by Satan, here are some observations made from other parts of Scripture:

  • In 1 Cor 5:5 Paul instructs the Corinthian believers to hand an immoral man “over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.”
  • In 1 Tim 1:20, the Apostle says that he has “handed” two men “over to Satan to be taught not to blaspheme.”
  • In Job 1:10-12 it appears as if Satan is allowed to mess with Job in order to prove that the latter will not “curse” the Lord when tragedy strikes him and his family.
  • In Job 42:5 the result of all of Job’s troubles is a better relationship with God.
Thus, day three of my “vacation” brings seven nagging questions. Here they are, as well as my best effort at answers:

1. “Is God’s grace sufficient for me as it was for Paul?”
Answer: I believe that it is, although I am not convinced that it prevents me from seeking medical help.

2. “Has God already answered my plea for migraine relief after one million and six requests and am I guilty of not listening?"
Answer: After one million and six requests, it appears as if the Lord has no intention of removing headaches from my life. Because of that, my ongoing prayer should probably change to asking for help to persevere vs. taking the headaches away.

3. “Are my headaches due to some kind of satanic attack?”
Answer: I have no idea and have no way of knowing.

4. “Are my headaches meant to keep me from becoming conceited?”
Answer: Perhaps.

5. “Are my headaches meant to destroy my sinful nature?”
Answer: Perhaps, but let’s speed it up, okay?

6. “Are my headaches meant to prove that I will not blame God for my troubles?”
Answer: Perhaps, and praise God that it has not happened yet, nor do I intend to let it happen in the future.

7. “Are my headaches meant to draw me closer to God?”
Answer: Perhaps. While their purpose (if they even have a purpose) is unknown, they do have the effect of driving me to my knees in prayer. And that’s a good thing.

As I reflect on day three and do the math, maybe I do hear the voice of God on this subject: “Somebody call a whambulance because Chris has a headache.”

Translated, it is time to quit whining. 

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